As a mom, words come out of my mouth that I never imagined myself saying. Almost daily. And in many cases whom I am saying it to can be surprising (and disturbing). Here are some examples. Feel free to throw in some guesses as to whom I am speaking to – the dog, my son(s), my daughter, or my husband. The answer may surprise (or disturb) you.
- Please do not pee on the toilet seat.
- Please do not go to the bathroom in the basement.
- Please do not go to the bathroom in the trash can.
- Please do not go to the bathroom in the heating vent.
- Please do not pee on me.
- Please do not throw up on the living room carpet.
- Please throw up outside.
- Please go to the bathroom outside.
- Please stop chewing on your toe nails.
- Please get your finger out of your nose.
- Please get your finger out of the dog’s ear.
- Please do not rub your boogers on me.
- Please do not flick boogers in my car.
- Please stop licking your plate.
- Please stop burping at the kitchen table.
- Please stop farting at the kitchen table.
- Please stop drooling all over my house.
- Please do not spit on the floor.
- Please do not drool on my pillow.
- Please get your butt off my pillow.
- Please do not rub your naked butt on my bed.
- Please wear underwear (preferably clean).
- Please do not re-wear your dirty socks.
- Please use your own toothbrush.
- Please do not kiss me so passionately.
- Please do not touch my boobs.
- Please do not rub my butt.
- Please stop snoring in my face.
- Please do not lick the car.
- Please do not lick your sibling.
- Please do not lick the dog’s tongue.
- Please do not eat off the floor.
- Please do not eat random food found in random places.
- Please do not drink that, it’s been sitting out all day.
- Please do not eat that onion like an apple.
These adorable kids couldn't possibly be responsible for any of the above grossness, could they?
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