Showing posts with label stay at home moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stay at home moms. Show all posts

Monday, November 23, 2015

Some Excuses Are Worth It

I’ve spent YEARS sporadically writing this blog among various pieces of fiction currently hibernating on my hard drive, lambasting myself for the excuses that get in the way of my being successful at anything. I figured it’s about time I set the record straight: Some excuses are worth it!

Hands down. Like death-by-chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream or a hot fudge brownie sundae. There are just some things you can’t say no to, ever. EVER. No matter how many burpees you have to do the next day (the burpees, any excuse for skipping them will do!).  

Sometimes, it really is important to stop what you are doing and read an interesting article on Huffington Post, like which Kardashian marriage is on the rocks and which one is on the mend. Or, which “health” food is currently a no-go and which one is trending. And don’t forget to keep up with the recalls (last week it was cucumbers from Mexico). Certainly, I couldn’t parent without reading conflicting “how to” articles from experts with one well-adjusted child or the mom with the three year old she is training to clean up after herself because she will NEVER do it for her (ha! good luck with that!). Evidently, my day would not be complete if I didn’t know what you ate for breakfast or what route you took on your 10 mile run.

All kidding aside, there really are some excuses that are worth it (cheesecake, from New York, I forgot cheesecake…).

Here are some of the things I did this past summer when I didn’t put a single word to paper (yes, I know we are deep into fall but, eh, I got excuses...):

























Totally worth it!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Give Me a Sec While I Readjust My Focus

One of my many running mantras is:
Everyone has the time and energy to do what they value the most…
Ultimately, I feel, when we make excuses like “I don’t have time”, or “I’m too busy”, or “I’m too tired”, that it is just another way of saying “It really isn’t important enough for me to make the time.” This is both liberating and restraining because I can tell myself if I really want to do something, I will make time for it but if I haven’t done it then it must not really be that important to me. So if I didn’t make time to write, or exercise, or cook a good meal, or play with my kids, or spend quality time with my husband  –  I guess it means I don’t value those things. Yikes, right?

I have been working on focusing my goals so that at the end of the day I can feel that I put my time towards the things that are important to me. Every day I have been waking up with a positive attitude (or so I thought), telling myself (with a big smile on my face) all the things I am not going to do with my day:  I am not going to waste time; I am not going to be lazy; I am not going to eat junk food; I am not going to lose my patience with the kids, I am not going to be fail at this whole writing thing. At the end of the day I beat myself up over all those things I swore I wasn’t going to do but did anyway. Hmmm. Sounds very negative. I thought because I was happy and smiling, I was being positive…  But, here I am walking around every single day focusing on what I am not going to do, beating myself up for all the things I didn’t do. Every single day I am focusing on the negative. Huh. Who knew?

I recently came across the quote:
What we focus on, we become.
Here I am focusing on all the things I don’t want to be: I don’t want to be a failed writer. I don’t want to be fat. I don’t want to be a bad mom. Why is it at the end of the day, these are the things I feel like I am? It’s the basic law of attraction! It’s like when I tell my son not to hit his brother – what do you think the first thing he does when he’s within striking distance?? Duh. Why would it be any different for me?

It is time to readjust my focus. It’s like I bought a really expensive camera with fancy lenses but have been faking it in point and shoot mode expecting fancy pictures. It’s time to learn how to use my lenses the right way to get the quality pics I want. I need to learn how to focus on the positive, not fake positive focus when I’m really just saying “I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!” then when “I do. I do. I do.” I think “I suck! I suck! I suck!” See how that’s no good?

What I give time to, I value.
What I focus on, I become.
It's not as easy as it sounds! I might need a bit of time. Give me a sec, while I readjust my focus!

In the meantime, here are some other blog entries you might like:

Excuse Me While I Beat Myself Up
No Parking In The Comfort Zone
ISO: Excitement
Excuse Me!

Monday, May 11, 2015

It's A Mom Thing

I'm not huge on these made up greeting card holidays especially these days as it feels like they have turned into over the top social media competitions. But I am all for excuses to eat, drink, and hang out with friends and family.  And since Mother's Day is centered around me, I guess it is an OK fake holiday. A bit hypocritical, I know. Eh. It's a mom thing.

My mother's day started out similar to many other days: with a five year old slapping me in the face to wake me up then jumping on my back to tell me to stay in bed -- repeated every time I almost fell back asleep. Then this happened and you can't beat that:


So I spent my mother's day hanging with old friends, hanging with my mom, then hanging with new friends. Again, can't beat that.

As with all holidays, fake or otherwise, you tend to think back and remember those you've shared it with in the past. This year I thought of all the beautiful mom-friends I have had the pleasure of knowing over my 10 year stint at this stay at home mom gig -- they have really been the best co-workers a lady could ask for.

When I made the decision to stay home with our first baby, I really had no idea what it would entail. My visions of peaceful walks in the park and picnics by the pond weren’t exactly as I planned. But even though there was a lot more laundry than I expected and far less sleep than I anticipated, I really thought I had the whole stay-at-home-mom-with-a-colicky-baby thing covered. So when I first saw a flyer for a moms group at our local library, I didn't think it was anything I needed. Their byline, after all, was Moms Offering Moms Support – I didn't think I needed support but since it was cold outside and I realized that I was beginning to speak baby talk non-stop, I decided to check out a meeting anyway.

I walked into the library room that winter and there they were: Moms with babies who, like me, didn't looked showered and maybe even forgot to brush their teeth. And moms chasing toddlers. And moms chatting while their kindergartners did crafts. And, moms dressed in nice non-spit-up-stained clothing drinking coffee while their kids were at school.  I had found more than a group of moms to offer me support; I found a community I didn't even know existed.

I am grateful that I found those moms who, it turned out, I did need for support on occasion and vice-versa. My daughter started kindergarten with kids she’d known her entire young life.  And, I had a community of best friends I didn't even know I needed -- friends to lean on, friends to share in the small daily tasks, the milestones, and the big life events. We don't have to agree on every choice we make as moms, we know it's a mom thing, and support each other in our journey.

Cheers to all the beautiful moms I've known over the years! I hope you had a wonderful mother's day packed with bed jumping, kid wrangling, homemade gifts, overeating, mimosas, mud and more...






Some of my previous blogs on motherhood:

Because One Day The Kids Will Be Grown
http://www.365excusesbyjulie.com/2013/02/one-day-kids-will-be-grown-3-haiku.html

I Wasn't Prepared For THIS!
http://www.365excusesbyjulie.com/2013/03/i-wasnt-prepared-for-this.html

I Used To Be The Best Mom
http://www.365excusesbyjulie.com/2013/05/i-used-to-be-best-mom.html

It's In My Purse
http://www.365excusesbyjulie.com/2013/06/its-in-my-purse.html

I Am Not Meant For This!
http://www.365excusesbyjulie.com/2014/10/i-am-not-meant-for-this.html

Did I Really Just Say That #thingsmomssay
http://www.365excusesbyjulie.com/2015/01/did-i-really-just-say-that-thingsmomssay.html

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Random Status Updates That Never Happened

I took a planned 6 week hiatus from Facebook in February and March. It also appears I have taken an unplanned hiatus from making excuses. No worries, though, there were plenty of excuses especially in regards to writing. Top of the list, my beloved computer was on the fritz and, call me old fashioned, I couldn't bring myself to compose a blog on a tablet even though there is an app for that.

Now that my computer is up and running, a blog on my Facebook fast seems a little less than timely but you get what you get...

I was off Facebook for over a month! There were meals eaten, crafts done, outings taken, games played, pictures snapped -- all of which fell into that black hole of pre-facebook existence. If you've done something and did not post it to Facebook, did it really happen?

What about you? What about all the stuff I missed from my friends? If I fail to read a newsfeed item, is it still news?

Some of you had birthdays I most likely would have missed anyway, but Happy Belated Birthday! Some of you birthed babies, congrats! Some of you moved, sorry I didn't volunteer to help. Some of you or your families underwent medical procedures, and I missed praying for you (although some of you were already in my prayers). Some of you ranted about things that either would have randomly garnished a like or an immediate “unfollow friend,” depending on my mood. There were lots of articles posted, most of which I would have only read the headline ignorant to the fact the article was bogus. Some I would have shared anyway. Many of you posted the best pictures of your family whether they reflected reality or not, I would have done the same. Many of you posted pictures of the elaborate Easter gifts you gave to your children, to which I would have groaned “when did Easter turn into Christmas?” as I stuffed my own children’s baskets with toys. Some things happened in the world that I missed because I didn't have my Facebook newsfeed to tell me. Some people were forgotten because I missed their posts about what they had for dinner. I, myself, ate numerous delicious healthy meals that I was unable to tell my Facebook friends about.

Here are some random status updates I might have posted had I been on Facebook:
  • This stuff is great. Like should be illegal great… #nutritionalcleansing
  • Hiking in North Carolina sans kids:
  • Day 30: 9 lbs and 19+ inches gone!
  • Loving #30daysofyoga with Adriene!
  • Hitting the slopes on April 1st. No joke!
  • This Walking Dead show is kinda good. Who knew?
  • Do you people know there is this thing called Netflix in which you can watch entire seasons of one show in a single night? #walkingdead Feeling tired.
Also, It snowed a few times this spring, pictures could have been posted with witty captions. My heater was finally fixed. We had some leaks because of ice damming. I baked some stuff, cooked some meals, did some crafts, played some games and took pictures which I could have posted as evidence of my parenting prowess (or something to that effect).

I am back in full swing Facebook time suck mode, so news will not go unshared! And, hopefully, I will get back to writing and this blog with the same vigor. Until then...

If you like this random list, here are some other blogs you might enjoy:

Monday, March 9, 2015

No Parking In The Comfort Zone

There is something to be said for the comfort zone – it is, umm, comfortable. I suppose we could all live our lives comfortable in it. Not that we would be lazy, the comfort zone can be pretty busy, hectic at times – with the cleaning, the laundry, the errands, work, volunteering, family, vacations, etc. A life inside the comfort zone could be a full and happy one. But, is that the life we are meant to live?

If there was a “No Parking” sign posted on our comfort zone, could we have reached a higher potential? Is there a life we are meant to live outside the comfort zone?

I recently came across this quote (on a friend’s fridge):

“Life Begins At The End of Your Comfort Zone”
~ Neale Donald Walsch

This friend recently left her own comfort zone – her job, her apartment, her life – and moved to another part of the state to begin a physical therapy program. She took a leap of faith and left her comfort zone to answer a calling rather than sit back and ignore it.

Is there a calling that we are afraid to answer whilst sitting comfortable in the zone?

I would like to say that I am finally answering the call to be a writer. But, my writing life is going along happily in its own comfort zone right now. Being a comfortable drawer writer eliminates all stress and obligation from the process (writing something and hiding it in my drawer). Writing something, revising it, submitting it somewhere – that is way out of the comfort zone I am currently parked in. The draft for my NaNoWriMo novel, for example, I have picked up a half a dozen times since November but never really accomplish anything noteworthy. What’s the rush, really, when you are in a comfort zone and no one is threatening to tow you?

And this inability to reach beyond the comfort zone stretches into many areas of life – relationships, physical activity, and diet. We can allow ourselves to get into cycles that keep us from ever really experiencing life to its capacity.

As a married woman with three children approaching 40, I was OK with the way I look, my physical activity, my diet. Sure, I kinda wish I looked a little better in a two piece bathing suit. I kinda wish I could run any amount of distance without wanting to pass out. Maybe it would be nice to have a little more energy without relying on coffee loaded with cream and sugar.

A few weeks back I decided to listen to another friend and try out a nutritional cleansing program she recommends. And I am wondering why in the heck I didn’t try it sooner! It’s like going from Good to Great – I feel great (and 10 days in I lost 6 lbs and over 9 inches)! I didn’t even know it was possible!

I am trying to detoxify my body inside and out – go beyond just OK to the best I can be…

What about you? Are you parked in a comfort zone? Can you do something today to push yourself outside comfortable to the best you possible?

Spring is approaching. It is time to wake up and move out of the comfort zone. Take some chances. Do something differently. Get out of the rut and live to our fullest potential.

Who’s with me?!

(If you want to know more about the nutritional cleansing program I am on, shoot me an email – we can do it together!)

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

I Am (clearly) No Jesus Christ

Today marks the start of Lent and for many Christians it means giving up some vice or making some sort of sacrifice in honor of Jesus' 40 days of fasting in the desert. I have to admit that even as a Catholic Elementary student, I don't think I ever made it the full 40 days of giving up anything.

If I were out fasting in the desert and the devil himself appeared before me and offered me food -- I think I would last about one second before I said, "Hell, yes, I'll take that rock-turned-bread!"

I am (clearly) no Jesus Christ!

I mean, I set a goal and about 10 seconds later I am making an excuse why I couldn't possibly get it done. Jesus let himself get hung on a cross! I think I'd be like: "Ummm, Father, I know I said I'd do this but I don't think this is even going to work. These people don't care if I die and come back again. Heck, half the time they don't even understand what I mean when I say I'm coming back...How about I cure another leper or something... They like when I do that..."

I am an excuse maven!

I put off laundry until the drawers are empty.
I need to have a guest en route before I clean my house thoroughly.
I have to have every surface area covered before I organize my papers.
The bathrooms need to look like rest stop restrooms before I clean them.
The stomach bug must be in full force before I disinfect anything.
The buttons on my pants must burst before I cut calories.
Spring must be around the corner before I'll hit the gym.
I can work on a short story for two solid weeks but when it's time to submit it, I fall asleep.
I write an entire novel, then decide I hate the story because it's too cliche.

And so on.

This year, I decided to give the whole giving something up for Lent thing a try. My biggest vice, of course, is the mindless time I spend on Facebook. So, it's only logical I give up Facebook. Since I know I have the willpower of an ant (assuming an ant has very little willpower), I am deactivating my account for the rest of Lent.

Gasp. But how will I get my news? I am keeping my Twitter account (I am no Jesus after all).

Double gasp. But how will you follow my blog? Follow me on Twitter: @excusesbyjulie 
Be sure to like my author page: www.facebook.com/JAChamberlain 
You can also follow by adding my blog (www.365excusesbyJulie.com) to your Blogger reading list.

I'll see you on Facebook after Easter! In the meantime, I'll be busy revising/rewriting my novel (I said I was going to do that, didn't I?) and jumping on the "nutritional cleanse" bandwagon (spring is right around the corner, isn't it?). I'm sure I will be finding excuses to post here in between.

Until then, my mantra:

Friday, January 30, 2015

Did I Really Just Say That? #Thingsmomssay

As a mom, words come out of my mouth that I never imagined myself saying. Almost daily. And in many cases whom I am saying it to can be surprising (and disturbing). Here are some examples. Feel free to throw in some guesses as to whom I am speaking to – the dog, my son(s), my daughter, or my husband. The answer may surprise (or disturb) you.

  1. Please do not pee on the toilet seat.
  2. Please do not go to the bathroom in the basement.
  3. Please do not go to the bathroom in the trash can.
  4. Please do not go to the bathroom in the heating vent.
  5. Please do not pee on me.
  6. Please do not throw up on the living room carpet.
  7. Please throw up outside.
  8. Please go to the bathroom outside.
  9. Please stop chewing on your toe nails.
  10. Please get your finger out of your nose.
  11. Please get your finger out of the dog’s ear.
  12. Please do not rub your boogers on me.
  13. Please do not flick boogers in my car.
  14. Please stop licking your plate.
  15. Please stop burping at the kitchen table.
  16. Please stop farting at the kitchen table.
  17. Please stop drooling all over my house.
  18. Please do not spit on the floor.
  19. Please do not drool on my pillow.
  20. Please get your butt off my pillow.
  21. Please do not rub your naked butt on my bed.
  22. Please wear underwear (preferably clean).
  23. Please do not re-wear your dirty socks.
  24. Please use your own toothbrush.
  25. Please do not kiss me so passionately.
  26. Please do not touch my boobs.
  27. Please do not rub my butt.
  28. Please stop snoring in my face.
  29. Please do not lick the car.
  30. Please do not lick your sibling.
  31. Please do not lick the dog’s tongue.
  32. Please do not eat off the floor.
  33. Please do not eat random food found in random places.
  34. Please do not drink that, it’s been sitting out all day.
  35. Please do not eat that onion like an apple.
These adorable kids couldn't possibly be responsible for any of the above grossness, could they?


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

New Year, Same Ole Me?

It’s a New Year, and I've brought the same ole me to the party. I, of course, can pretend that I am going to make and keep some New Year’s Resolutions. I can tell myself I am going to eat those grapefruits I bought for breakfast instead of a bagel and cream cheese. I am going to use that free gym membership I won. I am going to finish my novel and get it published. Polish and submit those short stories sitting on my hard drive. I am going to get right to work each morning instead of wasting time on the Internet waiting for my coffee to kick in. (Actually, I am going to drink a NutriBullet smoothie each morning instead of coffee.) But by mid-January the excuses already start to pile up and I am ready for Girl Scout cookie sales to begin…

New Year, same ole me? Or, maybe it’s time to let go of past failures and excuses, stop simply wanting things and start doing?

A recent blog on Writersdigest.com by author Kerrie Flanagan talks about moving beyond want and start doing… As she says, there are so many things we want – to make them possible we need to stop wanting and start doing.

What will you DO in 2015?

This is the year, I will finish the novel and find an agent. I will invest time in my writing, have confidence in my abilities, and push through to the finish line.





Monday, January 5, 2015

Lice PTSD For The Holidays

Ahhh. It’s the New Year. The Holidays are over and the kids are back in school. It’s time to sit back and reflect on the previous year, and make plans for the new one. As I reflect on this past Holiday season I realize that I may be suffering from a mental illness I will name “Lice Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

Are you worried you may have suffered from Lice PTSD this past holiday season too? The first step is to recognize the signs, then seek treatment (although what the treatment is, I’m not sure. Maybe a Xanax? A stiff drink?).
 
Signs you suffered from Lice PTSD over the Holidays:
  • All holiday guests were given a wet comb through before entering your house (because you know that the best way to find those fast little buggers is by dousing them with conditioner and combing the hair with a nit-pick).
  • Your new found head lice knowledge was the go-to conversation starter at all holiday functions. For instance, did you know… Head lice will not infest your home the way fleas or bed bugs can (they only live about 24-48 off of a host); lice is generally spread from head-to-head contact; lice reproduce sexually with mating lasting an hour; a female louse will lay around 6 to 10 eggs per day after mating once; a louse can hold its breath for up to 8 hours.
  • You correctly identified this picture as a male head louse:
    
    "Male human head louse" by Gilles San Martin - originally posted to Flickr. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:
    Male_human_head_louse.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Male_human_head_louse.jpg









    
  • You treated, nit-picked, and checked your head daily for lice but it would not stop itching. Finally, during a Google search you found a condition that you were convinced you had. Upon further investigation, you discovered that it is a psychosomatic condition. You regret including the diagnosis on your year-end newsletter.
  • When making your Christmas cards, you note the family pictures before lice (heads touching) and after lice (heads as far away as possible).
  • Family members began to avoid sitting near you because you were known to shriek “no touching heads!” every time you saw two young cousins with their heads close together. On one occasion you were seen elbowing grandma and pole-vaulting over Aunt Ethel to separate your daughter and her cousin quietly playing Barbies in the corner.
  • You replaced all brushes in your house with nit combs which you store in individual zip-lock bags in the freezer even at your mother’s house next to the turkey.
  • You sported the Sinead O’Connor in all holiday pictures.
  • When reading 'Twas Night Before Christmas to the children you recited: “not a creature was stirring, not even a louse” as a little prayer.
  • Before leaving your in-laws, you quietly put all pillows and cushions in trash bags on the back porch and told them to keep them there for a few days just in case.
  • You have decided to homeschool instead of sending your kids back to school after the holiday break.
And, the number one sign you may have suffered from lice PTSD this holiday season:
  • You composed a blog about it.
I wish you a lice-free 2015! Please share if you or someone you love may be suffering from Lice PTSD…

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

There Is A Louse In My House #drasticmeasures #amNOTwriting

I've been behind on my NaNoWriMo word count but nothing a few word sprints couldn't solve… But, when you have three children, you never know what surprises might keep you from your plans. This time, it was lice.

Remember my blog post a while back titled "I Wasn't Prepared for THIS!"? Well, add lice to the list of things I did not think of when my children were just a twinkle in my eye. More specifically, the idea that I, at 38 years old, would be experiencing my first case of head lice.

For all of you out there who have not had the wonderful experience of head lice in 2014 – it is not like in the 80s when a treatment of Nix would knock those suckers, eggs and all, out of the park. No, those of us inclined to put pesticides in our hair will soon learn that these lice are immune to it. So, in a word, it’s useless. A fine tooth comb and some time (HOURS A DAY) to sift through your hair is really the only sure fire way. There are natural alternative on the market (like Fairytale Goodbye Lice), and certain shampoos (like Coal Tar Shampoo), certain conditioners (like Suave Coconut Conditioner), and good ol' fashion home remedies (like mayonnaise and saran wrap), plus blow drying and flat ironing. Ultimately, though, you still have to sit and pick those suckers out with a comb every single day. Which I've been doing. Not to mention all the laundry which is a completely separate blog post for me because as some of you know I have been using a Laundromat since March even though I have a fancy washer and dryer in my basement (we have gas/propane/plumbing issues that are going to be solved “any day now”).

Anywho, my excuse for not writing this week thus far is that I have been busy de-lousing. Going  slightly crazy as one does when fear of infestation takes over. One might say I went a little more than slightly crazy when I was alone picking through my long locks, imagining the lice taunting me like the mucus guy in those commercials: "We’re setting up shop in here! You’ll never find us in all these tangles!” That’s when I found myself reaching for the scissors….

Drastic times call for drastic measures
 Take that you lousy louse!

I have to admit it looks cute in a it-looks-like-you-cut-your-own-hair kind of way... More pictures to come (after I find a proper hair dresser to fix it and give me a good dye job). Now off to write (after another trip to the laundromat).